The topic of Twin Flames and Soul Mates comes up quite frequently during my work week. I am a professional Astrologer and Tarot Counselor and have been for over 20 years. Soul mates is a prime Google topic for those who visit my website. It seems that more and more people are encountering, or at least identifying, soul mate relationships, or perhaps we are more informed about the phenomenon than ever before. And it seems that a certain type of relationship is common to most women and many men…that encounter that you just can’t seem to forget.
Soul Mates refers to the spiritual dimension of human love relationships. This includes the soul’s purpose, spiritual healing, past lives and the psychic and other dimensional realms.
What exactly is a soul mate? Rid yourself of the old idea from Hollywood movies of the 40’s, where there is a great love that will save you from all your challenges, after which you will ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
A soul mate is a SOUL, not the physical person, who has been with you throughout time in various capacities. Thus, you have spent many previous lifetimes with your soul mate(s). And yes, there can be more than one, in fact, many. A soul mate can be a lover (of any sexual persuasion), sibling, parent or friend. In this lifetime, there is an instant recognition and instant attraction, which may or may not be sexual. You will have an inner knowing of the other soul (again, not physical person – and that’s important as we will see). If you are already savvy about reincarnation, then you will know sooner rather than later that you have encountered a soul mate. If you’re not, it may take a long time to understand the relationship.
Many people believe that because they love deeply or are deeply hurt, they must be dealing with a soul mate. This may or may not be true. A true romantic soul mate will meet many of the following criteria. All of these criteria are present in the Twin Flame relationship.
1. When you first meet, you feel as though you’ve known each other before. There is an ease and instant comfort level between you. The true cause of this is past life memories.
2. The meeting is usually a chance meeting, and the person might actually come to your doorstep. There is a quality of fate about it.
3. Synchronicities abound. What is a synchronicity? A synchronicity is when two apparently unrelated events have a connection. For a simple example, you are thinking about your ex and your song comes on the radio at that moment. You will find synchronicities everywhere in a soul mate relationship.
4. When you talk, you will find similarities in your background, like living in the same town for years and not meeting until the present, similar family backgrounds or issues, moving to the same area at the same time, or a similar spiritual path.
5. An intense sexual connection is almost always experienced between romantic soul mates. It’s the best sex ever. It’s is because of a deep past life heart connection has already occurred in past lives. Some report a quite literal feeling of electricity between them during physical contact. This feeling may also occur just when they are in each other’s presence.
6. An intense psychic connection is another key. This is not just thinking about each other, but actually connecting to each other’s thoughts and feelings, knowing what they are doing or thinking, and seeing or feeling their energy around you in a very palpable sense in their absence.
7. You will often connect in the dream world, especially if you are apart. If you are dreaming about someone, there’s a good chance they are also dreaming or thinking of you. Some soul mates report dreaming about the person BEFORE meeting them, and then recognizing them from the dreams. Always remember that everything is connected; there are no random incidences.
8. There may be a feeling that transcends love. This one is hard to explain, but once you experience this you will know what it is. It’s a knowing that something even beyond love connects you. This is especially true of the Twin Flame relationship.
9. A feeling of incompleteness (especially between Twin Flames) and despite previous relationships, will prevail until you meet your Twin Flame or soul mate. You will always feel an inexplicable longing until you meet, and when you do, you will feel complete. There will be no need for other relationships or people in your life. This does not mean the relationship will be peaceful and lasting. It may not, despite all you may be feeling.
10. You will love your soul mate unconditionally, being able to love beyond the faults of another. This is because you see the person as a soul, not an incarnate physical being. You may have past life memories of them causing you to see potential in them that doesn’t really exist in this lifetime. This is what causes many people to believe that there is more to their lover, and that they will change to some past life ideal that they carry.
11. The love for the soul mate is enduring, even after the relationship has ended or the other has died.
12. You will experience deep spiritual growth from association with your soul mate or twin flame.
None of this means of course, that you accept abuse from the other person. Abuse is never acceptable.
Most soul mate relationships do not end up by walking off into the sunset together. Many are fraught with pain and sorrow. This is because both parties carry karma, or unfinished business from past life relationships that needs to be resolved. Often soul mates come together with a spiritual purpose. One may need to fulfill a role to help the other advance on their spiritual/soul path. This may come either through pain or joy. But there will be an opportunity for great spiritual growth no matter what.
By “opportunity”, I mean just that. Often, we are presented with opportunities to learn and grow but we fail to recognize it and fail to utilize it. There are many times in life when opportunity knocks at our door with a message and a chance for real growth and we fail to heed it.
For example, a little voice in your head (not to be confused with psychosis) might urge you to go somewhere at a certain time and you ignore it because you are tired or watching TV. The voice is persistent, but you do not listen. That could be a missed opportunity to meet a helpful person, potential lover or friend.
As humans, we are subject to fate, however, fate is merely the opportunity, free will allows us to react, or not. Humanity was given free will to make decisions about how they will react to fate. Fate is the great gift from the universe that presents us with choices, but we are free to react as we see fit.
Sometimes an event will occur that seems horribly painful or negative, but it’s an opportunity to grow and to learn a much-needed lesson. You must be awake enough to recognize the opportunities that come your way by seeking the learning in the lesson that has been presented. Try and view all the negative situations and people in your life as an chance to learn something that is essential for your soul’s growth.
Some soul mate relationships are karmic. This indicates that there is karma from past lives that must be balanced. Often it is negative. One party may have caused harm in some way to the other. They will play out this scenario until the karma is balanced and healed.
Karma is merely a balancing of energy. It is also known as the law of cause and effect. It is not a punishment or reward. If I caused great harm to someone in a past life, I need to experience the harm in some form (and it may not be the same form) in the present life. Thus, the energies are balanced, the soul learns and moves forward in its development. Getting to a point where the soul understands and feels the result of its actions and learns to not cause harm to another living being is enlightenment.
Many soul mate relationships are catalyst relationships. Perhaps the soul contracts between the two parties are that they would be a catalyst for each other, to help move each other further along on their soul development. The purpose of a catalyst relationship is simply that: to help the souls advance in their growth. Once that has been accomplished, there is nothing further for the souls. Unfortunately, sometimes the parties want to make the relationship permanent, and one or both parties will get hurt.
That is because they did not recognize the true nature of the soul contract.
A truly self-realized soul will recognize this and move on with no negative feelings toward the other. There may be pain and sadness, but in their hearts the parties are aware of true nature of the relationship. If the souls are not too far along in their soul growth, there will however be much clinging and drama.
Hopefully, soul mates come into our lives when we are in a position of sufficient emotional maturity to grasp the lessons and grow as a soul. Not everyone will do this though. It takes a lot of courage to confront our demons and make positive changes. And a soul mate will definitely bring forth our demons. Soul mates serve as mirrors for our own issues. If we are plagued with insecurity, the soul mate relationship will be rocky enough to bring the insecurity to the surface. If our Heart Chakras are closed, a soul mate will open them like a stick of dynamite. If our egos are too big, they will be shrunk down to a manageable size. THIS IS THE TRUE PURPOSE OF A SOUL MATE. The soul mate will serve as a catalyst for our soul growth, if we allow it. I believe that mastering lessons and soul growth is the primary purpose of a soul mate relationship.
Every week I have people come in for me to read the Tarot about a lover who is long gone and from whom the client cannot move on. The encounter may have been brief and lasted a matter of days to a few years, but after its ending, the client cannot move forward into a healthy relationship with another person. This is because the lesson has not been learned for either or both parties. In this case, I always recommend a past life regression. These issues can be resolved in this way, with careful guidance from the regressionist.
In all the relationships I have encountered through my work, everyone reports amazing, highly intimate sex, like they have never experienced before and probably never will again. It is the sexual relationship that creates the psychic connection. The reason for this is clear when you consider the act of sex from an energetic perspective. Allowing the person into our energy field, often lining up chakras and activating the kundalini, creates a bond between the parties. The Heart, Sacral and Third Eye Chakras are most effected, as these open completely during this type of sexual encounter. The heart connection has been established in a previous lifetime. A lasting psychic connection is set up from the first sexual experience.
Often, the unrequited soul mate relationship devolves into an obsession by one of the parties involved. The other person become all he/she can think of and this obsession may last for years. It will come between the person and all future relationships. There is a total breakdown of the ability to move on with their lives. The psychic connection, synchronicities and dream encounters only serve to drive the obsession.
Another driver of the obsession is the other person may re-enter our lives from time to time. They might start with a text, or a phone call. They may come back for another encounter. But they almost always leave again, opening the original wound. I call this “kiss-slap”. This pattern may be repeated many times. I think that a lot of the reason that the person who is the victim in this scenario is aware of the other person from past life experience, and attributes feelings and thoughts and potential that may have been there in past lives, but are not there in the current lifetime. So they expect the other person to change, or to suddenly wake up and realize that is them that they love. Or sometimes they may see positive soul traits that may live within the other person, but haven’t manifested yet. One thing to always remember about those “in and out” lovers – there is a basic fear and inability to make a commitment. They also fear intimacy.
Some of them, when experiencing the very deep intimacy that comes from a soul mate relationship, flee in fear. It doesn’t mean that there wasn’t love and there wasn’t deep intimacy. In fact, it’s this deep intimacy that makes the sexual relationship so amazing. Most people want this deep intimacy deep down inside, but truthfully, it terrifies them.
I’ve even heard of some who marry other people. The reason that they marry other people is because they find relationships that are superficial and don’t require the level of frightening intimacy that a soul mate relationship does.
Others are simply commitment phobic. Or, they may have deeply buried past life memories of how the other person may have hurt them in a past life. This hurt may have been literal. They may even have inadvertently, or directly caused the death of the other person. This may cause them to run when they come together with the soul mate.
Understanding past lives is the key to healing from these relationships.
There are millions of past life scenarios for soul mates. The parties may have been parent and child, lovers, siblings, business partners or friends. While the soul may present as a lover in the present life, it’s not always romantic in past lives. Or vice versa. The most intense relationships that are based on past life soul mates are of course romantic.
It important to remember that you are remembering the SOUL, not the person standing before you. While the soul stays the same, the body the soul is in also contributes to the whole of the person with whom you are involved. Genetics greatly contributes to who that person is, as well as life experiences and circumstances. The soul inhabits the body to avail itself of the experiences, genetics and opportunities of the current life time. The body is a temporary vehicle the soul inhabits, and can be likened to driving a car. There are many different makes and models and years. The car becomes an extension of the person inhabiting it, as the body becomes an extension of the soul inhabiting it, albeit much more complex.
And speaking of genetics, there is a field of genetic research called epigenetics. Geneticists have discovered that the traumatic events our ancestors experienced change the genetic code that is passed down. Thus, survivors of the Holocaust have passed on some of the trauma from that experience to their descendants.
It’s easy to see how different a person the current soul mate may be from his or her predecessors. This is important to keep in mind when trying to recover from a negative soul mate experience.
This blog has thus far been about the darker side of soul mate relationships. Fortunately, soul mate relationships also have a bright side.
When two soul mates come together and both parties are ready to commit to a spiritual path and mutual soul growth, a beautiful, loving and spiritual relationship can ensue. It will not be without issues, because all soul mate relationships’ primary purpose is soul growth. It’s how the parties choose to deal with those issues that will make the difference.
Issues and challenges must be viewed as opportunities to grow and love more deeply. The parties must come from a certain degree of personal emotional health and healing. Both parties must be committed to their own and their partner’s spiritual growth.
Timing is everything in a soul mate relationship. If both parties are open and willing to allow both their own soul growth, and the soul growth of the other party, the relationship may flourish. However, as the ultimate purpose of the soul mate relationship is soul growth, this can happen either painfully or happily.
Soul Mates may appear in an infinite amount of varieties, and for many purposes. Here are but a few:
Karmic Soul Mates: These are the ones that have some unresolved karma from past lives. Perhaps one caused injury to another. This karma must be balanced. It may not be in the same way, but the soul needs to understand the pain they caused to another. See Soul Mate Story #2.
Familial Soul Mates: These are Soul Mates who incarnate in families. They may also be Karmic Soul Mates.
Romantic Soul Mates: Perhaps you have been romantically involved in past lives. In this life, you come together once again to help each other through life’s lessons.
Twin Flames: An intense Soul Mate relationship where the two are of the same essence. They mirror each other in many ways. The lessons are intense. They may have a soul contract to be of help to the world in some way. This relationship goes beyond the three-dimensional world. There is much contact psychically.
Soul Mate Friendships: These Soul Mates may form a bond which lasts through their lifetimes.
Soul Teachers: One may be a teacher or mentor to the other due to a previous soul contract.
Soul Families: Groups of souls that incarnate together and find each other in the present life.
Catalyst Soul Mates: Two people with a soul contract to shake up the other’s life. See Soul Mate Story #1.
Stepping Stone Soul Mates: This is a Soul Mate who comes to shake things up so that the next Soul Mate who enters will stay.
And there are many more. Soul Mates can take many forms and for many purposes. Often, this will show up in the Astrology chart.
Copyright 2023-2024 Georgia Vlahos. Do not reproduce.
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